Blog Posts

I called the English Teacher Daddio

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I don’t know why I do this to myself year after year, but I imagine that many of you do the same thing.

Despite all the evidence that says I shouldn’t do this, I do it anyway.

I hope.

The weather is warm. It’s a great day to be outside. IU football comes up to me and says, “Hey, how about I hold this football and you kick it.”

“Oh, no! I know how this works, you’re going to hold that football there and I’ll come running up to kick it and at the last minute you will pull it away. I’ll miss and end up flat on my back.”

“Not this time,” IU football assures me.

I agree, putting aside all of my years of experience that have informed me to this point, telling me to just walk away cause this IU football is a cruel mistress. I run up and take a big swing at the ball, and sure enough, IU football yanks it away.

I am the Charlie Brown of college football fans.

And what makes it worse, is that last year, in an act of supreme cruelty, the let me kick the ball.

So this year, when they offered to hold the ball for me, I thought, “This is great! They let me kick it last year. They’re sure to hold it steady for me this year. Maybe I’ll even be able to kick this one through the uprights instead of squibbing it.”

But here I sit, bowl hopes gone, lying flat on my back in the middle of a field, the football long since taken away, and I know two things without question.

1.) Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane.

2.) Next August, I’ll be standing there, rubbing my hands together, just convinced enough that they’ll hold the ball for me to be willing to take another run at it.

Four Syllables (Five Claps)

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I am here today to make a solumn plea. A plea to all who plan on heading to a game in Assembly Hall this year.

Don’t think of this as a favor to me, though it may feel that way to you, and certainly will feel that way to me. Think of it, instead as the right thing to do.

Stand with me now, as the kids from Shaw did with the kids of West Beverly when the school boards cancelled the homecoming game because of the shootings at Shaw and Brandon invited the Shaw kids to the dance, to form a circle. In this circle we will find the support from one another that we need to make a change in this world. This circle will represent our commitment to end, once and for all, the abuse of the four syllable (five clap) cheer.

You know the one I’m talking about. Here are a few examples. A-J Moy-E (clap, clap, clap, clap, clap), Er-Ic Gor-Don (clap, clap, clap, clap, clap).

This cheer has become a crutch. Fans in attendence want to use this cheer to express any positive emotion.

And what’s worse, if the words do not contain four syllables, people try to make it work anyway. D-J Whi-Ite (clap, clap, clap, clap, clap) To-Om Cre-Ean (clap, clap, clap, clap, clap).

I get douche chills every time I hear it.

How can we accomplish this feat? I hear you ask. I’m only one man.

To papaphrase Arlo Guthrie.

There’s one thing you can do and that’s walk into the Assembly Hall, just walk in say to a cheerleader, “Cheerleader, I’m not going do that cheer.” And sit down.

You know, if one person, just one person does it they may think he’s really sick and they won’t ask him.

And if two people, two people do it, in harmony, they may think they’re a couple and they won’t ask either of them.

And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in sayin’ they won’t do that cheer and sitting down. They may think it’s an organization.

And can you, can you imagine fifty people a game, I said fifty people a game walking in sayin’ they won’t do that cheer and sitting down. And friends they may thinks it’s a movement.

And that’s just what it is Four Syllable (Five Clap) Anti-Massacre Movement.

Just like being there, without all the good parts

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I haven’t been to Assembly Hall for a basketball game in a few years, not since they’ve installed the super-shiney noew scoreboard in fact. I only mention it because if you never saw a game there prior to the new scoreboard set-up, this won’t make as much sense to you, but imagine if you will.

As a student, when I got my season tickets, here’s how it used to work. You would get eight games. Four of them were good seats, i.e. lower level or floor seating,, and four bad seat games. Mostly that meant balcony. What you never wanted to see on your stub was sections A, F, G, or M above roughly row 36. This would put you on the main level, but high enough up that you were under the balcony. You could see the game, but you’d have to ask the guy three rows down what the score was.

Now, imagine sitting in those seats, and then being forced to shut your eyes every 20 or 30 seconds.

That’s roughly what it was like watching the IU v. Anderson game on the Big Ten Networks live streaming on Friday.

There were no announcers calling the game, which I didn’t really mind so much. Just having the crowd noise and Chuck Crabb made it feel more like being there. There were also no graphics, which meant no score or clock information. After about the first two minutes I had no idea what the score was.

Add to all that wonderful-ness, the streaming was terrible. It was choppy, sometimes it would freeze completely (mostly when we had the ball and were about to score), then it would fast forward the action or just jump forward, there was a strange lag between the audio and the video, so that you would be watching one thing and hear Chuck Crabb call another.

I have no idea how well we played on Friday, and it pisses me off.

Would the Big Ten Network do something for me? I’ll even give you a few choices.

1.) Put the games on TV

2.) Failing that, add the score to the feed so we can at least try to keep up with what’s going on.

3.) Failing both of those options, rerun the game on TV, so at least we can see the game without overcoming your technical problems.

The Big Ten Network is doing a fantastic job of fucking up a perfectly good concept. Koudos, gentlemen. Koudos.

In which we start another season of IU basketball

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Tonight it begins.

The process of moving forward.

Indiana finally plays a basketball game with Tom Crean at the helm.

In some ways I can’t believe we’re ready to tip-off another basketball season. In many, many other ways this day could not come soon enough.

It is no longer the 2007-2008 season. Kelvin Sampson is long gone, so are almost all of his players. We have the youngest team in the history of college basketball (Packer Method). We have, as Kyle Taber is still recovering, no real game experience. We are starting roughly 12 freshmen and a JuCo player.

Tom Crean has kept practices closed to the public, Norman Dale style, so we have very little idea what to expect from this team.

We’ve been told they can shoot. We’ve been told their small. We know they’re young.

Tom Crean wants to run. He wants them to play defense. He’s scared as hell they won’t be able to rebound.

He’s done a fantastic job of lowering expectations. He keeps reminding us that the measure of this team’s success cannot be counted in the Win-Loss columns. It can only be counted in improvement. Do they learn? Do they show that they understand the system? Do they put forth the effort needed to be competitive? Do they work on and off the court to earn the right to wear that uniform?

Maybe I’m the perpetual optimist (see: the fact that I still watch IU football year after year when with the exception of last year Lucy pulls it away right before I’m ready to kick the ball every time) but I have a tough time believing that this team will be as bad as Mike Davis’s 14-15 squad. That team may have had more talent, and experience, but this team has a MUCH better coach. They’re young and small, but they will play with desire and heart, and they will not give the ball to Bracey and watch.

I think that trying to accurately predict how a team will finish when you’ve never seen any of them play at this level before is an exercise in futility. It’s punditry at it’s best.

So, here I sit, anxiously awaiting the ability to form my own opinion, based on more than my hopes. Based on more than my belief that Karma will take care of us for doing what was right and blowing up our entire program.

I don’t know that I can hazard a prediction about our record this year, but what I can say, with almost total certainty, is that this year will be better than the last.

GO HOOSIERS!!!

About Last Night

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I have too many thoughts running through my head about last night to put into a coherent posting, so here they are in no particular order.

As I watched the returns early on, Laura was actually watching About Last Night. That had not occurred to us until I named this post.

Way to go Indiana. Despite almost everyone I know from Indiana voting for McCain, my home state did something they haven’t done in my lifetime.

Way to go Chicago! Last night’s celebration in Grant Park was pretty much a referendum on this cities ability to handle the Olympics in 2016. From all accounts, it seemed to go smoothly.

It was amazing to see all the people in Grant Park. It wasn’t until they pulled back and took shots with the sky line in the back ground that you truly got a sense of how many people were down there. I was awe struck. Then, I went to bed, thankful that I didn’t have to a) try to get home from there or b) clean any of that up.
I always thought that they joy I would feel at watching Jesse Jackson cry would come from a much different part of my being.

For the first time in seven years or so, I am not actively worried about the direction my country is taking.

I am thankful that I had the opportunity to go to Obama’s rally Friday night in Highland, IN.

Today is a great day to be a teacher. To be able to talk to kids about the historical significance of this election is a great honor.

I am hopfeul that all of the people who voted for McCain because they were afraid of what would happen if Obama got elected spend everyday of the next eight years getting a little less afraid every day.

I was kind of creeped out when CNN broke out the holograms. The only one I saw was Will.I.Am. The only thing I thought was Emperor Palpatine.

I was proud of CNN for taking a stand to only project results based on vote totals, until roughly fifteen seconds after they said it, when they projected South Carolina for McCain with 1% of precincts reporting and McCain behind by 55-44. I’m not saying they got the call wrong, but try not to hurt your arm patting yourseles on the back for your restraint.

Ok, that’s all for now.

Gifts from a first grader

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The following is a transcript of an unsolicited monologue I was given by a first grader today.

"Tomorrow is my mom AND my grandma's birthday. So, we're going to celebrate at mt grandma's house, then at my house. I got my mom a cupcake with two strawberries. They were sticker strawberries, not real ones. I don't know what I'm going to do for my grandma yet. Probably, just play with her neck cause it's so chubby."

Happy birthday, Grandma.

I never thought this day would come

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After years of a complete inability to beat Adam in Fantasy Football, I finally got my first win ever. In the most unlikely of circumstances, with my THREE best running backs not playing and posting a season low poitn total I bested his less than stellar output. In recognition of my being free from this burden. Let's all enjoy some George Michael.

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