Four Syllables (Five Claps)

I am here today to make a solumn plea. A plea to all who plan on heading to a game in Assembly Hall this year.

Don’t think of this as a favor to me, though it may feel that way to you, and certainly will feel that way to me. Think of it, instead as the right thing to do.

Stand with me now, as the kids from Shaw did with the kids of West Beverly when the school boards cancelled the homecoming game because of the shootings at Shaw and Brandon invited the Shaw kids to the dance, to form a circle. In this circle we will find the support from one another that we need to make a change in this world. This circle will represent our commitment to end, once and for all, the abuse of the four syllable (five clap) cheer.

You know the one I’m talking about. Here are a few examples. A-J Moy-E (clap, clap, clap, clap, clap), Er-Ic Gor-Don (clap, clap, clap, clap, clap).

This cheer has become a crutch. Fans in attendence want to use this cheer to express any positive emotion.

And what’s worse, if the words do not contain four syllables, people try to make it work anyway. D-J Whi-Ite (clap, clap, clap, clap, clap) To-Om Cre-Ean (clap, clap, clap, clap, clap).

I get douche chills every time I hear it.

How can we accomplish this feat? I hear you ask. I’m only one man.

To papaphrase Arlo Guthrie.

There’s one thing you can do and that’s walk into the Assembly Hall, just walk in say to a cheerleader, “Cheerleader, I’m not going do that cheer.” And sit down.

You know, if one person, just one person does it they may think he’s really sick and they won’t ask him.

And if two people, two people do it, in harmony, they may think they’re a couple and they won’t ask either of them.

And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in sayin’ they won’t do that cheer and sitting down. They may think it’s an organization.

And can you, can you imagine fifty people a game, I said fifty people a game walking in sayin’ they won’t do that cheer and sitting down. And friends they may thinks it’s a movement.

And that’s just what it is Four Syllable (Five Clap) Anti-Massacre Movement.

Indiana Universe

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