This photo is of the gigantic zit on the side of my head. Normally, not worth posting, but because of it I had a very helpful conversation with a bellman at our hotel in Miami.
"How was your day today, sir?"
"Good. Hot."
"Yes, it’s hot. You have a bug bite on your head."
"Yeah, it’s a pimple."
"IT’S BIIIIIG."
"Thank you. I know."
I can’t recall if I tipped him for that or not, but I rather think, not.
We have decided to get our air ducts cleaned for all of the usual reasons one does such things. I logged on to servicemagic.com, which is a very helpful website if you have this type of work that needs doin’. You type in what you are looking for (I typed "I need my air ducts cleaned" Not to ruin where this is going, but remember that that is what I said I needed), they match it with companies who do that type of thing (Much like when Dorothy wanted to start a small business and put an add in the classifieds saying "Will do any job for $10" but it was accidentally placed in the personal adds. We all laughed and then got a lot of uncomfortable mental images of Bea Arthur in Flagrante.) then those companies either e-mail or call you.
Within minutes of clicking send, I got a phone call from a company, and while I was on with them, I got another call. I clicked over, and asked if the nice woman on the line could hold on, I was on the other line. I clicked back to company A, got a quote and some information. This took almost 5 minutes. I clicked back to company B. She was still on the line, which surprised me as I had taken so long with company.
"Hi, I’m back, sorry about that."
"No, problem. You need your air ducts cleaned?"
"That’s correct."
"We don’t clean air ducts."
Long confused pause on my part.
"OK. Bye."
As Principal Skinner said when photographed coming out of the Maison Derriere. " I was just in there to get directions for how to get away from there."
They called me. Waited on hold for five minutes. Just to tell me they couldn’t help me. They could have accomplished the same thing by not calling me at all.
As part of my long overdue trip to the grocery store today I stopped into GNC to buy my protein shakes (which my 6th graders refer to as my chorro shake. The even made up a song about it. It was annoying but they aren’t wrong about how it looks.) On my way into the store I noticed a sign on window advertising a special service offered at this GNC.
Notary Public
I walked in and the salesperson said,
"How are you today?"
"Fine. Hey, do you get much call for that notary public thing?"
Long confused pause, which I attribute to the fact that not one person has ever asked anyone who works there about their notary service.
"I don’t know that we’ve ever had anyone request it."
"That’s pretty much what I thought."
So, if you need a colon cleanser and something notarized, it is your one-stop-shopping lucky day.
I got this message for the second time in a few weeks today and it drives me nuts. It’s supposedly from Jay Leno and it’s all about how ungrateful Americans are. I’m not going to say that Americans aren’t ungrateful and spoiled, because there’s some truth there, but I have two problems with this e-mail.
First, it wasn’t written by Jay Leno, so I guess I’ll have to go back to not liking him because he’s not funny. (For the sake of ease, I’m still gonna blame Leno for this for the duration of this e-mail)
Second, it is a very selfish point of view, and also very simplistic. Leno’s basic point is this; In America we have an embarrassment of riches. We have homes, food, jobs, firemen, and police. What are we whining about?
We do have all of these things, I know I do personally, but is that all there is in life? Should I not be concerned about larger social issues like the environment or civil rights, or the war, or any of the other issues out there that deserve demand our attention.
When I was in high school I learned about Abraham Maslow and his hierarchy of need. The basics are that humans have basic, fundamental needs that all humans seek out in order to feel fulfilled as people. It begins with physiological needs, like food and hunger. Until we have access to food and water we can’t spend time thinking about what’s on the next step of the pyramid. Which is safety and security; a place to live, and protection. Until you have food and water, and feel safe you can’t spend time thinking about the next step. Which is a sense of belonging and love, and the next step above that is self-esteem and recognition, followed by the top of the pyramid, self-actualization.
Jay Leno thinks all of our needs are met by the bottom two, most basic needs. We have those needs met, so personally we can go about the business of finding love and friendship, recognition in our work, and self-actualization. In society, it means we can focus on other things.
If we stopped striving to make the world better once each of us had food and shelter what a horrible world this would be. I’d prefer to work my way up the pyramid to try and achieve more in this life than four walls and a sandwich. And I’d prefer it if we, as a society demanded more of ourselves and each other. It’s just not enough to have grocery stores, fast food, homes, and police.
We have the luxury of being able to focus on the other issues in the world, and quite frankly, we have the responsibility.
P.S. The only part of that Jay Leno wrote was the last line. As part of his monologue. And it wasn’t even a funny joke. Peter Griffin was right.
"If you find Jay Leno funny, there’s a good chance I don’t care for you as a human being."
This is my second attempt at this post. There was a back up in the tubes this morning when I wrote the first version and it got flushed out into the waste dump. Pity. I thought it was pretty good. Here’s my best try at repeating it.
On June 1st 1967 The Beatles changed music forever. This wasn’t the first time they did this. February 9th 1964 in the David Letterman Theatre they ushered in a new age of music, and closed the door forever on the way things used to be. 40 years ago today, they released Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Books have been written about the Beatles, and this album, so I’ll try to keep this brief.
When I finally got my own CD player in 1991, at the ripe old age of 15, and began buying music for myself with some intent and forethought I decided I needed to get some Beatles. I’d grown up in a house filled with music from the 50s and 60s. Motown, Doo Wop, The Beatles, Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly, Elvis. The radio was pretty much always tuned to the oldies station. Listening to it this way I had heard every hit Beatles song ever recorded and liked them all, a lot. I knew I couldn’t get all of those songs on one album, and if I wanted a greatest hits I could just turn on the radio. I wanted to see what else they had done, and why I’d been told they were the greatest band ever. I decided to pick one album and start there. As I had heard countless times how Sgt. Pepper’s was probably the greatest, most influential albums ever recorded, I chose this as my starting point.
From the moment I heard the orchestra tune up and the audience take their seats I was hooked. I listened over and over to these songs. My knowledge of who sang which songs was negligible and I knew very little of the history of the band. I know a lot more now and this album still amazes me. It’s an amazing snapshot of where the band was going and where each member was going. This is not an album that could have been made the year before when they had still been touring. Paul’s theatrical side takes center stage in the concept of an alter-ego band who greets the audience, plays a show, and then plays a reprise followed by an encore. John really steps up his use of scatological writing, with the bright mental images painted in Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, and his ability to take inspiration from a simple circus poster. George puts his studies with the Sitar to use and makes a beautiful contribution and Ringo plays the role of everyone’s favorite lead singer, Billy Shears. You can really begin to hear the differences in style within the group and the different directions they were all heading, but you also get a wonderful collaboration between Paul and John on Getting Better. Paul’s optimism (It’s getting better all the time) and John’s cynicism (It couldn’t get much worse.) Point, counter-point. Fantastic.
This is not my favorite Beatles album, that award goes to either Rubber Soul or Revolver, depending on my mood, but there’s little doubt that this album is nothing short of magic. I’m listening to it as I write this. It’s still alive and new. I’ve heard each of these songs hundreds of times since I first listened to them on my discman in the back seat of the minivan on the way home from Grandma’s house, and I still get chills.
Do yourself a favor. Sit down and listen to Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band this weekend. Look at the album cover. really listen to what’s going on. You’ll be happy you did.
This is the first, and quite possibly only time I’ve ever posted about the NBA. The fact that I even saw part of an NBA game should be as shocking to you as it is to me, but I just finished watching something amazing.
Cleveland just beat Detroit in Game 5 in Triple Overtime 109-107. Lebron James scored 48 points in the game. Impressive, but my big playoff game standards it’s good, not magnificent. But get this. He scored the last 25 points for Cleveland, spanning the end of regulation and all three overtimes. Get that? He was the only person on his team to score in all three overtimes.
He hit threes under pressure. He drove to the basket. He even got a steal. Outside of Detroit, I can’t imagine that there was any one in the country watching this performance who wasn’t rooting for him to get this win. I was. And the fact that I was rooting for anyone to do anything in an NBA game is astounding.
I haven’t seen a performance like this since Scott Howard wolfed out and carried Chubbs and the gang to the championship. The only thing Lebron didn’t do was steal the ball from his teammates. I’m out of words here. That was amazing.
Year books were handed out today, accompanied by the usual flurry by every student to have them signed by everyone. One of the 3rd grade boys was signing everyone’s yearbook in the following manner.
I hate Emily
– Josh
He made it through about 4 or 5 yearbooks before the teacher saw this and (sadly I think) put an end to it.
I say good for him having convictions and being willing to put them in print.
JT
As a pulled into the parking lot this morning and parked my car I noticed the prominently displayed Purdue University window decal.
As I walked past the car I looked in the back window I saw about 10 Chicago’s Pizza delivery warmers. It makes me feel good to see Purdue grads reaching such high professional heights.
This is either an allegory about how God created the world, then gave us all direct advice about what to do that we ignore without fail, or it’s a cartoon about gay unicorns. You be the judge.
Pop Culture. Sports. Things.
Jeff Taylor Writes 