Category: Television

During the season premiere of South Park, well I don’t feel like recapping the episode, but it wasn’t one of their bests, though it was quite something.

Now Read this and come back to me.

A few issues.

1.) It wasn’t one rape scene. There were multiple rape scenes and they were all parodies of, for lack of a better term, famous film rape scenes.

2.) There’s not one tiny part of this episode that had anything to do with Steven Speilberg being Jewish, or Yom Kippur.

Any assertion that it did is wildly off base and ,frankly, stupid.

Be offended, if you feel you must, about the cartoon depiction of graphic rape scenes, but really, it’s a cartoon that makes it’s bones, often brilliantly, on skewering and satirizing everything.

But, may I recommend that get over it.

Last Saturday, for the third year in a row, Laura and I went to Slay-A-Thon. This is basically a Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon held at Dave & Busters. It is a fund raiser for the Make-a-Wish Foundation. We’ve gone each year to watch Buffy and support the cause, but mostly to watch Buffy.

People get pledges for how long they will watch. There is a silent as well as a live auction and a raffle. The auctions had some cool things, collectors items and unpainted figure models mostly. Things I liked, but wasn’t willing to pay $400 to own.

So, for our contribution Laura bought a $25 raffle ticket to win a fantastic model of the Magic Box. It is a 1/6 size replica of the central set of the post-high school years in Sunnydale. The detail is fantastic and I was impressed with it last year when they had, what I assumed was another one, but was in fact the same one, since last year’s winner didn’t pick it up.

Anywho, to make a long story short, (too late) when they called the winner he was me. Laura immediately regretted purchsing the ticket as this thing is 3.5 feetin long and about 18" tall (which is roughly the size of Stone Henge). I have no idea where we’re going to put it. It’s still in the box right now, but if we had a central window that over looked the street you can bet your sweet bippy it would be there for all to see.

I’ll put up more pictures once it unboxed and put on display, but for now, you’ll have to be satisfied with this picture, taken at the Slay-a-Thon with me holding the winning ticket.

the cause of death was most likely revenge.

Let’s examine the facts.

First, he was involved in business with at best unscrupulous characters (one of his associates, while meeting with a young movie producer about financing the film held said producer out of the open door of a cable car hanging hundreds of feet over a mountain side).

Second, he was widely suspected of planting a car bomb that detonated, killing the man inside the car(seemingly).

Third, he was so threatened by reprisals from many unnamed sources that he hired a full time body guard to protect his daughter.

Fourth, while having dinner with his daughter’s new boyfriend, who coincidentally (?) was the son of the man in the car cited in the second point above, he pulled a gun under the table, and get this, the boyfriend wasn’t a bit goddamn surpised by the whole thing, as he had a gun of his own.

Fifth, when his daughter defied his wishes and decided to marry the boyfriend after no more than three months dating, he arranged for a hit on his new son-in-law.

Sixth, it backfired and he ended up having his own daughter killed, sending the grieving widower off on his motor cycle to parts unknown, only to have him return years later seeking revenge. (The widower later found out that is was all a big misunderstanding, as his dad never died in that car and was, in fact, in witness protection with a new life and family.)

But, even knowing that, the widower must have still been pretty pissed off about his wife being shot like that. Plus he had a long history of drug addiction, so who knows what he might do when hopped up and feeling really depressed and angry one dark lonely night.

So, while his publicist is saying he died of a heart attack, I’m thinking that Dylan finally got to Tony Marchette.

It’s all very, very sad.

If I had been in this situation, with a microphone and a camera, this conversation would have likely gone exactly like this. I would like to pretend that I would be cooler than this, but I would geek out exactly this bad. Please pay special attention to  Ben Lyons’ reaction when Ian is talking about his unforgivable wardrobe in the episode under discussion.

That’s me in the corner.

Part two of writing about TV in the writer’s strike era. Now that the holidays are over the lack on new programming will start to become apparent. I’m here to request that we all exercise some discipline here. The networks are  preparing to heap upon us a gigantic helping of reality crap.

I’m sending out a personal plea to everyone, everywhere. Please don’t watch this shit. If the networks can continue to draw in viewers for this crap, they will be much less likely to end this thing. I would like to suggest the following rules.

1.) If you are regular viewer of a particular reality show, please continue your loyal viewership. For some crazy reason most of this country likes to watch American Idol. Knock yourselves out. I will not be joining you, but that will also be consistent with pre-strike behavior. I will continue to watch survivor.

2.) If you were interested in a reality show and would have watched it regardless of other scripted programming, go on and watch. I will be tuning into American Gladiators. That’s just TV gold no matter time nor place.

3.) Tune into the good shit that is on. This probably should have been #1 on the list. The Wire starts it’s last season tonight. This is probably the best show to ever be on television and it’s fixin’ to close up shop. Same can be said of Battlestar Gallactica. It’s lined up to start it’s last season come April.

4.) Read a book or something. Just stay away from contrived reality bullshit. Do us all a tremendous solid.

"Sometimes, there’s a man, I won’t say a hero, cause what’s a hero, but sometimes there’s a man, and I’m talkin’ about the Dude here, sometimes there’s a man who, well, he’s the man, for his particular time and place, he fits right in there."

That’s pretty much how I felt about this weekend’s assignment. Sometimes, there’s an assignment that just fits right in there.

As an avid television watcher, go ahead ask around, I watch more TV than anyone who’s not being paid to do so, the WGA strike is hitting me pretty hard, or I should say will hit me pretty hard, once I finally catch up on the almost 30 hours of shows on my Tivo. So, short term the strike has been a blessing, as now I have the chance to get caught up on everything. I still have 3 episodes of Heros, 3 of Reaper, 2 of Gossip Girls, 3 of the Unit, 4 of 30 Rock, 3 of My Name is Earl, Battlestar Gallactica Razor, 1 of Chuck, 2 of Boston Legal, 3 or 4 Robot Chickens, 5 of Journeyman, 2 of the Simpsons, and 3 of Pushing Daisies. All this after working very hard to clear the Family Guys that were there and getting that Chuck number down to 1.

So, clearly, in the short term, I am not yet suffering through the dearth of scripted programming that will soon land upon me, forcing me to send my two children out into the cold woods looking for new programming with only a pocket full of bread crumbs to get the home. Right now, I’m doing just fine, say thankyou.

What I will miss most, or what will likely be the biggest pain in my ass, will be the unintended clifhangers. Not having gotten to the end of my shows yet, I can’t say which those will be, but being left in the middle of a story will likely irk me something considerable.

To fill the time, I’m watching much more college basketball, which is great (ask my wife and the word great may be replaced with less flattering word, or colorful phrase). It also gives us the time to continue working on series of seasons past. We’ve been working through Buffy, Angel, and The West Wing, so we’ve got those lined up. I’m also going to try to hook her on Battlestar Gallactica. I’ve also had an itch to go back and revisit Sipowic, so NYPD Blue may make an appearance in my Netflix cue.

I’m also going to be avoiding most of the filler reality programming the networks will be putting out there, with two notable exceptions. First, I will continue to watch Survivor, and second, I will be enjoying the hell out of the new Hulk Hogan hosted American Gladiators, because strike or no strike, I’ve been calling for a return of the gladiators for a while now. Plus, getting to watch the Hulkster cut a promo on some poor civilian should be worth the price of admission.

So many social engagement, so little time.

This morning as I was fixin’ to walk out the door at 7:00, The CBS Early Show came on. Their lead story, a story’s coverage that included at least two "experts" and lasted longer than the five minutes I was in the house before I left for work, was about Britney Spears losing custody of her kids.

I’ve come off my position that this type of stuff isn’t news, because clearly people care about it and, for some reason, want to know about it. There are entire programs and numerous website dedicated to celebrity news.

But here’s the problem. As there are a number of places to get this type of news coverage, and as there are about a thousand things of more import and more impact on the everyday lives of people, how can this possibly be the lead story on anything, but Extra or TMZ?

It’s not important to me whether Britney Spears raises her children or whether Kevin Federline does it. I’m sure they will be equally screwed up regardless of the outcome. The only reason I even remotely care is that if Britney has them we’ll only have to hear stories about one of these losers. This way K-Fed is back in the news and I find that objectionable.

So, I’m asking very politely of the network news divisions that set these types of priorities and the producers who put these pieces together. Make this a third hour story. Put it before or after the cooking segment, or around when the travel segment airs. Just please quit leading the broadcast with it.

It makes us all a little dumber. And a lot of us can’t afford to get any dumber.