Category: Home Life

Some of you may not know this, and if so, I apologize for not having told you prior to this, but I have a Pope T-Shirt. It was purchased for me, and the rest of the faculty here at school from the money changers outside the Papal Mass in New York last month. It is without a doubt the greatest non-dude-related piece of clothing  I own.

Aside from its inherent awesomeness, it also serves as one of the greatest social experiments ever.

First, just by wearing a Pope T-Shirt you can get an instant read on people. You will get one of three reactions. 1.) The “isn’t that nice” look that my late grandmother would have given me, because it’s the Holy Father. 2.) Disgust because you are either being judged as a bible thumper, by the agnostics and atheists, or
as a Papist by the protestants, or 3) The proper reaction, which is the realization that there is nothing in the world more fantastic than  Popeshirt.

Second, this happened this morning.

I got up and put on my Pope Shirt to wear to school today for casual Friday. I was talking to Laura about the day upcoming and she was staring at my Popeshirt and not paying attention to what I was saying.

I said, “You’re looking at my Popeshirt aren’t you? Stop it.”

She looked up from the glory that I was wearing guiltily. We continued our discussion and less than a minute later she was back to staring at my Popeshirt.

I said, “Stop It!!” And I pulled my jacket closed.

A look of shocked realization spread across my face and I said, “Oh, My God! This is what it’s like being a woman!!!”

Thanks to the glory that is Popeshirt, I was able to experience first hand, without expensive prosthetics, or Marilyn Manson androgy-suit the experience of the opposite sex. And conversely, Laura got to experience the male perspective. Hopefully now she knows that we can’t help it either. Just as she could not avert her gaze from Popeshirt, men are equally without control.

If more people would wear Popeshirt there would be a greater understanding between the sexes.

Last weekend my brother and his girlfriend were in town visiting. We had a great time. Did all of the "Chicago" things you can fit into 4 days. One conversation keeps replaying itself in my head, as I found it typical of talking to Michael, and thus, very funny.

Michael: "Name the top three things that are pickled." (It should be noted that this came out of nowhere and was something he apparently saw on Family Feud. At the time I didn’t know that. It just seemed really random.)
Me: "Pickled? Cucumbers. Herring.
Michael: "What’s Herring?"
Me: "It’s a fish. They pickle it."
Michael: "No."
Me: "What do you mean no?" How do you quantify this answer? Lots of people eat pickled herring."
Michael: "That’s not the right answer."
Me: "OK, I give up. What’s the answer"
Michael: "Cucumbers. Eggs. and Peppers."
Teresa: (who had been listening to this high minded exchange the whole time, and I might add, agreed with me about the herrings) indignantly "Who pickles peppers?!?!??"
Michael: "Peter Piper."

He wins.

Today is Laura’s birthday. Everyone wish here well. Out of curiosity I was looking on imdb.com to see who she shared her birthday with. Here’s a brief list.

Matt LeBlanc
Estelle Getty
Walter Payton
At least 5 porn stars (3 of whom were also born in the same year.)
Walter Brennan
and my absolute favorite

the cause for the answer to this question

"What is the greatest comedy killer of all time?"

"The Assassination of Arch-Duke Franz Ferdinand."

That’s right history buffs. My wife shares her birthday with Gavrillo Princip. The man who assassinated Arch-Duke Franz Ferdinand beginning World War I.

I can’t explain, and don’t really need to, why that’s fantastic. Either you agree with me right away, no thought involved that there’s something awesome about that, or you don’t care at all. But trust me, it’s awesome.

So, if you see any of these people wish them a happy belated birthday. Except Gavrillo Princip. He’s dead and he’s a douche.

Happy Birthday Laura.