This week was a big one for those of us who follow TV, and have an interest in such things. It was upfronts week. This is the week that each of the major network and both of the red headed step networks. Here are the things worth mentioning, at least to me.
1.) The CW is retarded.
There are many of you who only read that sentence and thought, "yeah? You’re just coming to this now? We knew this when we realized we weren’t Jr. High girls." But for someone who is a fan of the pretty-people-with-problems genre this is sad. The CW is of course the bastard amalgamation of the UPN and WB networks. The networks who brought you Dawson’s Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and Felicity. OK, those were all from the WB, except the last couple of seasons of Buffy. This week the CW canceled both Gilmore Girls (OK, seven seasons. I’m not gonna kvetch about this one, but I’ll miss it) and Veronica Mars. Canceling Veronica Mars is ridiculous. It’s one of the few network shows that had quality writing, interesting characters, and inventive story lines, so of course it had to go. It is being replaced by these new shows. Yet, another season of Beauty and the Geek, The Pussycat Dolls Present, Farmer Wants a Wife, a reality show about a farmer finding a woman, and America’s Next Top model, and AN ENCORE PRESENTATION OF AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL!!!! Dear God, they’re canceling really good scripted show and keeping on the air 4 vapid, brain dead reality shows. I find myself wishing the Vinnie Delpino got that job as a network programmer that he always wanted. It was after all his idea to put Rocky on after a Ronald Reagan press conference. He’d stand up for VM.
2.) This is an idea 20 years too late
ABC is putting a show on Tuesday nights based on the fucking caveman Geiko commercials. The thing that bugs me the most about this. What commercials could have been made into hit TV shows?
A Where’s the Beef show. It could have been a mystery about a woman who goes around solving beef related crimes. I’ve seen the dialogue on any CSI show. It couldn’t be worse than all of their act breaks.
A I’m not Herb show. A show about an amnesiac who spends all of his time trying to regain his memory and learn who he really is, all the while denying that he is Herb.
Those two guys from Bartles and James stumbling around old and drunk on wine coolers, but very very polite.
A summer camp show based on the McDonald’s commercial where the kid writes home to the tune of "Hello Mother, Hello Father"
Those Wasssup guys. I’m sure their lives are interesting. Maybe they own the budweiser frogs.
Mr. Whimples fighting off numerous sexual harrassment lawsuits as his need to squeeze things finally gets the better of him and he begins to squeeze the asses of female shoppers.
Maybe a Ring Around the Color thing. I don’t know. Sweaty people can be funny.
I guess my point here is, this has got to be one of the worst ideas for a television show ever. ABC, you should be ashamed of yourselves.
3.) This isn’t about upfronts but National Bingo Night premiered tonight. I forgot to watch, but this idea is just about as good as the Caveman thing.
I’ve run out of steam after the Caveman thing, but there are so many awful shows on TV now. It’s a shame they can’t keep the one or two good ones they’ve managed to put on.
I have smote the TV industry with my wrath. Everyone can now sit back and watch it change. I am blogger. I have power.