Category: School Stories

Much like the beginning of Die Hard: With A Vengeance where John McClain has to wear the sandwich board in Harlem stating his dislike for the ethnic group that tends to populate that neighborhood, there are just some places where it’s the absolute worst place to do a certain thing.

Yesterday while I was on lunch duty one of my colleagues, while moving a garbage can across the room, knocked it over, spilling the contents on the ground. He did this in a room full of 5th -8th graders. You can imagine the clapping and laughing that ensued on the part of the kids.

Now, I don’t really find dropping things funny. I do find it funny when things are dropped in front of the one demographic group that will mock you incessantly for doing it.

"Good Morning, Kindergarteners, I’m Principal Sinner. . .Skinner. That’s it, I’ve lost them forever"

Today with my Kindergarteners I was trying to plug in new headphones for one of the boys. As I reached to pull the tower forward I accidentally hit the power switch, turning off his computer.

I said, "Oh, I accidentally turned it off."
He said, "That’s OK."
I said, "We’ll get it turned right back on. That’s my fault."
He said, "Don’t Worry."

I’ve never been so sincerely comforted by a child. He really, really, didn’t want me to feel bad. I couldn’t help but laugh a little.

JT

Two fantastic stories from the 1st hour of my school day. The day can’t get any better. I may just call it a win and go home.

One of my 6th graders takes the public bus to school every morning and yesterday he came in talking about a girl he met on the bus that he finally talked to. Not wanting to kill his chances with this girl he told her he went to the high school right across the street from our school. Please remember he’s in the 6th grade.

This kid’s no dummy (though thinking he could pass as a 9th grader may directly contradict this claim, but follow me here). Friday’s my kids go to P.E. which means instead of wearing their uniform to school, they wear their sweats and T-Shirts for gym. The shirt can be easily covered with a coat, but the name of our grade school is printed in HUGE letters down the leg of the pants. He knows the game is up if she sees him in these pants.

Not one to be best so easily by a pair of sweat pants, he gets up this morning and gets dressed for school, in a pair of jeans and a sweater. He walked into class this morning, cover intact, and still, in his mind if nowhere else, still passing as a high school student. He immediately walked into the bathroom and changed into his gym clothes so he wouldn’t be out of uniform.

I don’t think it’s gonna get him where he wants to go with this public transit beauty, but clearly a playa’s gotta play.

Story #2

I was just talking to a teach who is teaching spelling to 1st graders. As she tries to get them to sound out the words and figure out their spelling she will often dance a liitle as she sings "wha-wha-wha" or ra-ra-ra." Today, as she was doing this one of the first grade boys who happens to have a very thick polish accent, which trust me makes this even funnier (if you don’t believe me read the following out loud with a Borat-like accent, stands up and says "You want the money. Here’s the money. Take the money." As he pretends to throw money at the teacher.

First graders who associate all dancing women with strippers and aren’t afraid to stand up and offer them cash are now my favorite people in the world.

Somedays being a teacher is 100% worth it.

JT

As any of you who teach can attest, there are frequently things said in class by the students that are either brilliant, ridiculous, or both, and often amusing. This is the first installment in "Things adults don’t say."

"Computer Teacher. Computer Teacher. Computer Teacher. Computer Teacher. Computer Teacher. I have something I need to tell you.

"Yes"

"I have cheese nips. Two packages."

"Good."

Show of hands. Who was told that at work today? Just me? Alright.