Last week one of my third graders was busted by his teacher for selling something to his classmates that he should not be selling on school grounds. Magic Potions.

It seems that for weeks now he has been charging $10, $20, and in this case $30 per potion. Now, before you think that this is one twisted kid you is taking advantage of his classmates naiveté, let me add this little wrinkle. He believes that they work.

He sold one potion that, according to him, contained the three rings of light. I don’t know what this potion was supposed to do, but it looked very much like olive oil with some seasoning in it.

This all reminds me of a, I believe, Damon Wayan’s bit where he’s talking about the rules he has for his kids. The rule is “you’re in trouble. Unless it’s funny.” His son super glued his daughter to the toilet. That’s funny.

So is a 3rd grader getting other kids to buy magic potions.

During gym class a couple of days later, this little Harry Potter accidentally hit another kid in the head with a dodgeball. As I was telling him he needed to be more careful when he threw the ball, he got inappropriately defensive, and said, “I can’t control where the ball his going once I throw it. I’m not using magic.”

I replied, “I know you aren’t using magic. You don’t have any magic powers.”

“Yes I do.” He said. “I’ll prove it.”

“Really? How?”

“I’ll make you a bet. Next Winter. I’ll turn myself into a wolf. If I can’t I’ll give up. If I can, you owe me $100 dollars.”


“Now remember, it’s next winter.” He said.

“I know. If you do it before then, it doesn’t count.”

In recounting this tale to one of my colleagues later that day, he pointed out that even if he does turn himself into a wolf, he would have no use for the money. This hadn’t occurred to me. So, it looks like I get to keep my $100 either way. I may however, need to go out and buy some bunnies for next winter.

One comment

  1. When I read this to myself, I laughed so hard I cried. Then I read it aloud to my husband, and I laughed so hard I cried! WHO THE HELL WAS THIS KID??? Please email me and tell me who!!!!!!!

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