You know what Japan is like? I’ll tell ya.
1st) My new GPS works really well there. Got me right to the airport. No problem
2nd) People there may try to rob you using a nail file, but fear not, they are very easy to disarm, and when you do, most around you will be dumbstruck with awe.
3rd) Everyone there speaks perfect English
4th) The flight from there to Chicago takes about 4 hours, but seems to be almost instantaneous.
5th) They have very good sub sandwiches and they keep well on the flight home.
These things are all true. According to the dream I had right before I woke up this morning.